Best Funny Status for Whatsapp, FB, Instagram

Here are the Best Funny Status in English for Whatsapp. The benefits of laughter make you healthy physical and emotional changes in the body.

You’re a traffic signal, my friend. Your antiques always stop me in my tracks.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its own limitations.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I cannot see.

Life is short. smile while you still have teeth.

Sorry, sorry for the terrible things.

I am free from all prejudice. I hate everyone equally

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.

Beware of the naked man who offers you his shirt.

People say that nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement as it’s recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service.

First, you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly, and then you forget to unzip your fly.

funny status

I know I’m not supposed to text you right now, but my mind just won’t stop thinking about you.

Never let your best friends be alone, keep harassing them.

I can’t even imagine the self control needed to work in a bubble wrap factory.

Marriages are made in heaven. But again, there is thunder and lightning.

I know that I do not want to give you a lesson right now, but my mind has not stopped thinking about you right now.

Don’t be stupid, it can make you famous.

Sometimes I wished I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people simultaneously.

Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you go bald.

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.

Men do not care what is on TV. He only cares about what else is on TV.

These days the relationship starts by pressing LIKE on her photo.

When I first met you, I thought I just caught you in a really good day because you were looking so handsome. But now I know you are always so handsome!

I should have waited till you are free but I really couldn’t stop myself from texting you right now. I am missing you all the time!

How many more texts I have to send before I finally inspire you to make a move? Life is too short darling and I’m already dying for you to make it happen!

funny status

I thought I should prepare your favorite dish tonight and invite you over my house. Take it as a tribute to your handsomeness from me!

You are a traffic signal, my friend your antics always stop me in my tracks.

If you’re hotter than me, it means I’m colder than you.

If life gives you lemons then make some lemonade, if it gives you coconut which you hate.

A good lawyer knows the law; A cunning takes a judge to lunch.

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Friends, you buy food. Best friends eat your food.

Everyone is a psycho, and the average of all psychos is what we call normal.

If you think that no one cares about being alive, try to miss a couple of payments.

Many people lose their temperature just seeing that you keep yours

I really don’t see anyone worthier than you to spend my weekend with. Because no one can make me happier more than you do!

It’s a weird feeling that I have about you. I merely know you for a couple of days but it seems so hard for me to not think of you for a single moment!

It just took me a couple of days to discover the gems in you. I must be so lucky for finding you just the right moment in my life.

funny status

I am really missing your handsome face right now. Would you mind sending me a pic of it now?

Life always gives you a second chance. It is called tomorrow.

I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

Life is when you are always there to separate from them .. end

The answer you are looking for is in you, but it is wrong.

My bed is a magical place, I suddenly remember everything I had to do.

A bad chapter does not mean that your story is over.

The biggest critics of my books are those who never read them.

The man who made fictional numbers in Math: I Hate You.

My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.

A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement as it’s recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service.

When you retire, you switch bosses — from the one who hired you to the one who married you.

First, you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly, and then you forget to unzip your fly.

funny status

I’m really blown away by all your hot pics on Instagram. Don’t you think I deserve some originals too?

The world’s funniest and easiest thing is to give advice…

The lift is out of order for success. You have to use the stairs.

I’m sorry I exist, a selfie.

I don’t care what people think of me. Mosquitoes I find attractive!

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

I love my job only when I am on vacation.

People take 300 selfies to do just one post. This is the only one I took.

My friends are so tired of me praising your look and physique all the time. So, I decided to text you. Please don’t get bored!

I wish you were a blanket I could buy from the market. Because it’s so cold out here and I’m literally freezing right now!

You make my heart happy, and I know you get that I really like getting to know you. Let’s meet more often and take our chances.

funny status

I’m falling so deep down in love for you. Will you make a move to save me? Or is it just me making up some weird fantasies!

Maybe it’s crazy but can I call you my baby? Let’s just go for dinner after work tomorrow, what say? You pick the place.

Maybe if we tell people that the brain is an app, they will start using it.

Every successful man is followed by a woman, followed by his wife.

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it is not flying!

I’m not running hard, I’m too lazy to run.

It is better not to argue with women.

Today in the old GF market… I was about to call her “Hello,” her husband said “Chalo”…

Please do not download my selfie, you can fall in love with me.

Your computer screensaver is a scene from Green Acres – so you can daydream about that farm you always wanted. Make best use of it, have a happy retirement.

Happy retirement and my advice is that you do not try to say that you are coming back because you will be surprised at people’s reactions. No one will give back your office, nor your parking space. No one misses you that much.